Welcome to my brand new series “Beneath the Sheets”!!! Here
we study and grow together as we venture into or onto the great mystery that is
the human body. Every month will have a new topic, and the reader (YOU) can
submit suggestions by tweeting me @bryyycecarter.
This month, we discover how to make our sexual “juices”
taste better by simply changing our diet! This varies slightly whether you have
a penis or a vagina, so I will split it accordingly.
IF YOU HAVE A PENIS READ THIS:
Alright fellow dickmates, this is revolutionary information
to make that spunk taste like candy. This is how you can go from spit to
swallow just by eating a few new foods, and scrapping some old ones.
Your jizz is a lot like your sweat, in the sense that it
absorbs chemicals based on foods you eat. Most peoples cum is “bleachy” and
bland, and to counteract that you need to sweeten it up a little bit! The way
to do it? FRUIT! FRUIT! FRUIT! Specifically, mangoes pineapples, apples,
melons, grapes, or any citrus fruit that is high in sugar! Try and add one of those
or a glass of pineapple juice to every meal and I guarantee that special someone
will be glad you did. There are also foods that make your cum taste like ass.
Avoid eating foods such as asparagus, onion, garlic, any foods in the cabbage
family (especially kale). These foods will add bitterness to cum and can even
make it taste like the food a little bit (gross right?). Keep in mind that all
of this will be ineffective if you don’t clean your willy. Nobody likes a dirty
dick. Nobody.
Obviously, you don’t want to dramatically change your diet
just to have great tasting semen, but maybe if there’s a special occasion
coming up you could surprise your partner by chugging some pineapple juice for
a couple days before! Keep cumming along my penis friends.
IF YOU HAVE A VAGINA READ THIS:
Vagina class is in session! I am probably not qualified to
be teaching but hey… I’m free. The smell and taste of your vagina juice depends
greatly on cleaning maintenance and less on diet, but eating the right things
can make a big difference if you want to try it! This isn't a “how to clean a
vagina” guide, so I’ll leave that part to you and I will just discuss food!
Vaginas are complicated. There is too much I will never
understand because I’m a guy. I do know that the “juices” that are secreted
when aroused do hold chemicals that are absorbed from your diet. The diet to
make this taste/smell better is actually very similar to the males. Food high
in sugar, and that smells good naturally is always a good call. Try eating more
pineapple, apples, strawberries, watermelon, and grapes. That special someone
will feel like they are licking an all you can eat ice cream cone. You will
want to away from bad smelling foods, mainly ones that will make your breath
smell bad. Always keep in mind if the person going down there wanted a parfait,
they wouldn't be eating what you have to offer.
I recommend you look online for more information if you are
interested. I don’t know too much about vagina maintenance, but I do know that
your diet does make a difference! With a clean vag and a change in diet, you
can turn “eating out” at your restaurant from two to five stars!
NOTE TO READER: NONE OF
THESE EXPERIMENTS HAVE BEEN TASTE TESTED BY THE AUTHOR HIMSELF.
